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01/21/2004 Entry: "Don't Worry About the Government"

We're going to recap some things because I'm a lazy piece of crap and didn't write about them earlier.

On Becca Bryon's birthday, January 16th if memory serves, we went Cosmic Bowling. I'm reluctant to call it a party, because there were only 4 of us, which I don't think counts. Regardless of that, it was a lot of fun. If you're a rube to cosmic bowling, basically they turn on black lights and everything gets all glowy and strange and acid-trippy; good times.

Lets step back a moment and remember I haven't bowled since the 5th grade. It's been a solid 5 years; that's like... 1,825 days, so I feel entitled to suck. Ironically enough, I won the first game; after which though, Lizz and I preceded to be schooled by Laura and Becca. When chosing the ball I was going to use, I was at a loss. Being with 3 females I had no idea what the norm ball-weight for guys was... so I had to guess. With the ratio of shoe-sizes still fresh in my mind [from renting shoes...] I just went with that. They grabbed 12s, I grabbed a 15. I am the dumbest person on the planet.

I just kept slinging that puppy on down, and insted of rolling like it should... it just glided, cause it was so freaking heavy and I have no muscular strength anywhere at all ever. The 2 days following bowling, my right arm [yes, I bowl with my right for some reason] hurt. And ever twinge of pain lingered as if to say

Tom you are a dumbass

That aside, the next morning I woke up late and decided I wanted to watch some non-news TV. I flip through our myriad [HOLD THE FUCKING TRAIN- VOCAB WORD. SOMEONE FIND MRS. EDMONDS AND LET HER KNOW...] of cable channels and get to the bullshit 'family' ones. Guess what's on? JOSHUA. One of my most favorite bad movies ever. It's about this guy who comes all mysterio to some town and he does all this great work and does miracles and stuff and you find out at the end he's really Jesus 2.0 or whatever.

The premise sounds stupid, because it is. The movie itself though is hillarious. I actually really enjoy it, because I saw it once with my mom at like... 2 AM and we made fun of it. I proceded to make the same jokes when we watched it in religion class, and all was well. I highly reccomend this movie to anyone who hates corny movies because it ranks very high in the 'Please-Make-Fun-Of-Me Category'. Plus Joshua looks like Mr. Hashman which only fuels my hatred towards him and this movie...

So we finally got our internet fixed. Or so it would seem, but they came and fixed the outside part, so that should be what does it. Anyhow we were down at Time Warner's service office and when I opened the door for my mom to go in I held it for some other lady too. Because I'm such a nice guy...

Annoying thing being: She didn't say thank-you! She walked right by me, obviously taking advantage of the door-holding activity I was freely bestowing upon her, and yet she neglected to thank the Radiskull for his selfless service to the public... I just felt like mentioning it because I hold doors for people cause they get all nice and 'thanks' about it, but this chick didn't. Well lady, you can take your bad vibes and... and... go give them to Mr. Hashman...

That night I watched Logan's Run with Sean, scarring yet another soul with that film. If you have no idea what it is, A. Shame on you for not having seen it, or B. Shame on you for not reading the archives... [dick]

So the other day I'm going about my regular business on the computer, just talking to people and getting in on some pong action, when out of the blue, I get into this conversation:

shteatinfatbtch: im high
Daemon1330: I'm Tom. Good to meet you.
shteatinfatbtch: hogan?
Daemon1330: The one and only...
shteatinfatbtch: im not allowed to talk to you anymore
shteatinfatbtch: the voices say no
Daemon1330: Who is this?
Daemon1330: ...who are you?
Daemon1330: follow up question: Why do the voices say no?
shteatinfatbtch signed off at 9:54:17 PM.

File this under 'You Know You've Made a Name for Yourself WHEN...'

How jacked is that? Really jacked, experts say. Apparently I've become such an influence that people cower in fear at the very mention of my unholy name... [hot damn I love myself sometimes...]

In any case, I'm issuing a public request for an Identity Check on one "shteatinfatbtch". If you know who she is at all, please tell me. Even if you don't, drop her a line and see if you can't extort it via cruel or otherwise unusual means.

Thanks, The Management.

Mr. Provencher constantly rambles on about how great his Yahoo! Germany e-mail account is. Good for you Mr. P, but I've once again 1-Up-ed you. I have a Yahoo! Japan account, because I'm that nerdy. Daemon1330@yahoo.co.jp. Word UP. I don't use it at all, and if you send anything there it won't get read, but in case of an e-mail appocolypse, I am prepared.

Also on the topic of German stuff, I've been extorting/blackmailing Mr. Provencher for a number of weeks now to get us a new seating chart. Things reached their apex when I sent him an official letter with attached suggestions for seating charts, and then confronted him about it in class. The Seating Revolution is now; break the chains of the oppressors and rise up... so you can sit back down... in a different spot... [See? School bores me so I MAKE entertainment for myself]

Over this past weekend I saw The Dish and Shanghai Noon. Both are excellent, and in terms of The Dish, Sam Neil rocks my world, right up there with Alec Baldwin.

Today [if this post gets finished in time] carpool was jacked. Ethan's mom is out of town, Ethan is a crack-whore who won't give me a ride, Sean has Quiz Bowl... and I have no ride. So I ask the one person who would keep me as far from home as humanly possible, if she'd give me a ride...

We stayed after for a bit and helped Kate with the re-filing of the Domestic Extemp crates, which is a disimal process, but needs to be done. I found it slightly ironic that the file labled 'books' was empty. After that we went upstairs just in time to catch Brigid going off to battle on the vallant field of Quiz-Bowl-Dom... or whatever, and then we left.

Loose Park was frozen over once again, but instead of watching beer bottles slide across it, we watched ducks instead. The ducks slide all crazy-weird across the ice, and one of them even pretended like it was going to take off, just to get momentum, and slide across all stupid looking, it was great. And also Lizz's mom packed her extra food for that day, which we ate, and was good. [I love food a lot and will be quite large and gross when my lightning-paced metabolism dies down...]

For some reason I wanted to go to the Goodwill Store after that, so we did. They have the best old computer/appliance stuff there. 5.25 Inch old-school Floppy drives 99 cents a pop. I was so close to buying one... but then I realized that taking a hammer to ancient electronics is only fun once, and is a bitch to clean up after.

So then to the hardware store, where we bought velcro. Sub-standard crappy velcro that wouldn't stick where we needed it to... so the current plan is to resort to duct-tape for all adhesive needs from now on.

Then I gave the full blown tour... of my room; somehow we got like almost an hour and a half out of that, so the afternoon excursion came to an end, and I ate dinner. I also would like to give a shout-out to people who give shout-outs:

You fucking suck

Velcro has lost its majesty
and only Duct-Tape will save this cowboy now...

Replies: 8 Buddies Neglected Their Oral Hygiene

Adam, thanks for doing the reseacrch, but we already knew ethan was wrong.

Posted by sean @ 01/24/2004 03:13 PM CST

Usage Note: Throughout most of its history in English myriad was used as a noun, as in a myriad of men. In the 19th century it began to be used in poetry as an adjective, as in myriad men. Both usages in English are acceptable, as in Samuel Taylor Coleridge's “Myriad myriads of lives.” This poetic, adjectival use became so well entrenched generally that many people came to consider it as the only correct use. In fact, both uses in English are parallel with those of the original ancient Greek. The Greek word murias, from which myriad derives, could be used as either a noun or an adjective, but the noun murias was used in general prose and in mathematics while the adjective murias was used only in poetry.

Posted by Adam Meyers @ 01/24/2004 10:11 AM CST

i second that motion, tom.

Posted by sean @ 01/23/2004 10:59 PM CST

You crack-whore Ethan; check the vocab book.
It specifically states it can be used in a noun form, or at least that it was at one point.

Posted by Radiskull @ 01/23/2004 08:40 PM CST

myriad of is grammatically incorrect
and it's not my rule, bitch

Posted by ethan @ 01/22/2004 09:12 PM CST

saaaay...could i get inserted in the strangers in a strange land comic?

Posted by sean @ 01/22/2004 04:19 PM CST

i've toured the room as well. i got distracted by the gundams. they're so cool.

by the way, we have some hard drives you could bust up for us. it'd actually help us out.

Posted by sean @ 01/22/2004 04:16 PM CST

i saw that joshua movie. it made me laugh. we lost so bad, but i feel special cause i got a mention with right name spellage and everything.

Posted by Brigid @ 01/22/2004 12:10 AM CST

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