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06/15/2004: "Through the Night"

Greetings peoples. Today's entry will ether be of typical quality and shorter length, or of equal length (to past entries) and of lower quality. Why? Not a lot has been happening in this past week, so to fill the time I've put myself on steady diet of Tap Water, goldfish crackers, and bootleg-ed anime.

It's the travesty of my typical lifestyle.
I mean tragedy.

We have a new friend onboard here at BrakBlog.com. Hank Eddins is now up and running with his subdirectory [Hankasaurus]. Visit and enjoy. The art is very choice, and Hank's a good guy in general.

I've also cooked up a new batch of banners for the front page. Not like anyone pays attention to that kind of stuff, but whatever. Those should be up within half an hour or so of this posting. Eventually I'll get the descriptions of the old ones on .brak//SIGN.

I got paid for a job the other day. 40 bucks. (Not that kind of job...) Good money though. I made the mistake of carying it with me as I went in to get my sister's birthday present. Before I even found her movie though, I somehow managed to have Wayne's World 1 & 2 [The Complete Epic] and Troll 1/2 [The Complete Tragedy] in my hands as well.

*foom* Off goes the 40 dollars. Sad... I know. But I did end up with 4 movies, 2 of which I knew were awesome (Wayne's World and Troll II), one of whcih was to be assumed as awesome (Wayen's World 2) and one that was still up in the air. Troll. Hmmm... I'd heard that this movie was good, and I heard that it was bad, but I'd never really seen it myself, so I set out to rectify that situation.

In the deathmatch of the century, let's face off Troll against it's decendant, Troll 2:

Troll 1's:
Cinematography is better.
Effects don't suck.
Acting is better.
Directing is better.
Plot is existant (as opposed to the innovated No-Plot tactic, which failed miserably with Troll 2)

Which means as a standalone film, Troll 1 kicks the royal crap out of Troll 2. However, it is the fact that it was made so poorly that makes Troll 2 so appealing. To compare them against one another is folly. Troll was supposed to be an actual fantasy movie. Troll 2 had to have been some sort of cosmic joke. They both succeeded in their own separate, individual ventures.

The other day, a day on which nothing particular was supposed to happen, but then lots of interesting things ended up taking place, Lizz and I were sitting around watching the movie Speed. Great flick. Keanu Reeves can not act, but that's what makes him such a relateable protagonist. Anyhow, the movie ends, and we're sitting there, watching the credits, whatever, when suddenly I hear this screaming.

My sister is yelling at the top of her lungs, and the way she was going on with it, you'd think she's just been bitten by a rabid monkey or something. I lumber up the stairs, and give her a "What the Fuck?!" look. She explains to me that there's a flying cockroach this big *indicates 5 inches with her fingers* in my mom and dad's room.

Mom and Dad aren't home, so the task falls to me to vanquish this oh-so-disguting excuse of an advesary (It was really hardly even an inch long; my sister can be kind of a gimp). I grab my metal stick, and a plastic cup, and go in to investigate. It took me a little while the find the son of a bitch, I just kept hitting stuff with the stick in the hopes that I'd kill it or scare it into the open.

Eventually it turned up, and before I could put the cup over it... it crawled into my mom's new purse-backpack thing. Lizz came over, zipped it up, and we grabbed the backpack and went outside. We get out there. Backpack gets unzipped. *shake* No bug. *shake* still no bug. *vapid cursing and vigorous shaking* No dice. *last desperate shake* BUG! I dropped the backpack thing, recoiling in horror (I'm not really a bug person), regained my nerve, grabbed the packpack, and ordered everyone back inside. We'd returned the flying cockroach to it's native outsideland, where I hope it was killed by a native preditor.

Creepy thing being, the next morning I woke up and every small, black, oblong shaped object looked like a flying cockroach. Plus we didn't tell my mom that it was in her purse. Creepyweirdgross. Moving on...

I went to church the other day for a first time in a long time. I hate going to church mostly because I have issues with religion. Spirituality is all fine and well, whatever floats your boat, but organized religion is one of those things that just mandates vomiting from the radiskull. Anyway, it was my first time in the new church. Everyone around me was all oohing and ahhing and I was NotGivingAFucking. Seriously. The entire thing is totally over the top.

They managed to make everything as ornate, flashy, tacky, and religiousy as possible. Those things separately in small doses are not typically an issue, but together, and to the extent that Visitation took it, they're sickening. On top of it all, they invited us all to kiss the alter in the middle of mass. Yes... kiss the fscking alter.

I turn to my father, the only one at the service with me, and whisper "I've gotta pass on this one. There's major violation of sanitary code here." At least that's what I meant to say. It came out more like "I've gotta pass on this one. There's major violation of sanity code here." Germs. Saneness. It's all the same. Regardless, I'm watching everyone go up there, kiss the marble-topped ornate piece of wood, and the sheer gross factor came to mind.

Let's all put our mouths on the table, in the same place. Then, as if having 200 mouths touching this thing wasn't enough, lets eat food off of it.

Reason number 4589 why Catholicisim is fucked up the ass. [No offense kids, but look at it objectively, it's disgusting.] It made it even worse, because my mom was telling me that 3 days prior at the dedication mass the bishop had rubbed the alter down with oil. So everyone was kissing a greasy piece of marble that some old man had touched in a semi-erotic way. And then we're eating food off of it. Blehhh.

The only thing that made this better was that later on, my sister corners me, and asks me if we did alter-kissing at my mass. I told here that everybody but me did. She said she went up there, and meant to, but then had a last minute germ-freakout-crisis, and just pretended to. I went sans alter-kiss because I think religion is BS, with sanitary issues as an excuse. She went up there in the name of religion, and chickened out on account of germs. I couldn't stop laughing.

Now that we have pews again, that means we have kneelers. I forgot how much bullshit kneeling is. I mean come on. (The word itself is shifty... that K, just sitting there out front, so silent, and yet to very swift and deadly.) Maybe it's just because I have authority issues or something, but the concept of lowering myself to anyone is rather sickening. So I didn't. Everyone else knelt, I sat on my fat lack-of-an-ass. Even the Almighty could be a little understanding in that regard...

Then came the petitions. EG: Shit We'd Like In Addition to This Million-Dollar-Waste-of-Money-Church. My all-time-favorite is the one praying that we all be thankful and accepting of diversity among our peers and neighbors and congregation. This struck a nerve with me; sarcastically, I think to myself "What Diversity." In my eternal pessimism, I searched for a minority to prove myself wrong. To my dual suprise-horror, I found none. Not a single one. A big group of whiteys praying for diversity.

It was hard to contain laughter at that point. They also ran out of communion bread when I got to the front of the line. Sign from god? At this point, I'd be willing to bet on it.

Paula and Kate abducted me the other night. It was quite the experiance. We started off by going to Barnes & Noble to listen to all their music. And buy nothing. Which I'm sure pissed them off, but whatever. After that, we went to Culvers, this burger joint on State Line. It was amazing, I can't believe there aren't more places like this. It's set up like a McDonals, with a counter and menu thing in the front, and then all the tables and stuff towards the back.

Except it's a lot nicer. They have carpeted floors and cushioned booths and stuff. And the food quality is on par with Winsteads/Chubbies. It's the ultimate hybrid of fast/real food restaurants. I've decided that I want to hang out there with random people all the time, ala Dead Like Me. It would also be a good place to study the [Numbers].

After that, we swung by the 7-11 at 63rd and Oak (where people are frequently shot. KCMO, wordup) and got sustinance. Then we just played around the park by Edgevale and Warnall, eventually Kate and Paula got too loud, and Rachel Swetnam came out (she lives across the street from the park) and told us that her mom was getting pissed. So they continued to be loud, then I had to come home.

I also thought I'd throw it out there that I'm going to try and make my film The Demon again. I spent all last summer writing it, and squandered the previous christmas break not making it, so we're gonna take another swing at it this summer. All interested parties, drop me a line.

With that said, I've got one anime series down, and two to go. Don't bother calling, I've stopped answer the phone. Unless you think you're special and want to take your chances, but I make no gaurentees.

Religion is bunk.
The Way of the Cowboy is the Way for Me.

Replies: 5 Buddies Neglected Their Oral Hygine

Dude, how could yoou have not seen wayne's world II? They could of made a season of movies out of wayne probably. I think it was like austin powers 2 except with new jokes. Am I right?

Said [Josh] on Tuesday, June 15th

Oh Tom. You make me laugh. and I make you cringe. Seems a bit one sided, eh?

Said [Kate] on Tuesday, June 15th

that was a good blog.

Said [rachel] on Wednesday, June 16th

If you want to play Geografacts please find a partner and tell me who it is by Friday, June 25th so I can make a double elimination bracket for the tournament. If you have any specific place you think would be good to have the tournament(a game-safe place, basically not the pool), or you have a proposition for the way it should be run, tell me. And if you know someone who might want to be in it but doesn't know about it, tell them. RSVP a place via IM(ProstheticFeet), xanga, phone, e-mail(ProstheticFeet@hotmail.com) etc. More details later about when it'll start. *ALSO: Within the next two weeks I'll have three games instead of one - Yay for ebay*

Said [katie] on Sunday, June 20th

Hullo there, Tom! Remember that one girl with the blog that updated every so once in a while (this must have been 2 years ago[?])? That person is me, and yes, "acting is better," and religion-bashing is "tee hee"-bait. It's lovely to see what your occasional postings have become- a tremendously neat webSITE. :)

Said [Annie] on Wednesday, June 23rd