Bend and Break
Summer is coming. It is so close I can practically fell the hot tears running down my cheeks already, from when the ice cream man will again begin his annual taunting of my pathetic existance.
A lot has happened! Allow me to expound:
I was at work the other day, doing what I do. Actually that's not true. Lately I've had to work a TON, and for a brief instant on this day I was taking a break. I was terribly hungry too. All I wanted to do was eat. Normally I just read my comics or play pokemon until it's time to go get dinner at home. On this day though, I'd neglected to bring any of the afforementioned items. I began the search for food.
At the back of my work there's this weird little shelf unit full of odd foodstuffs. None of which belonged to me. I then saw a jar of regular creamy peanut butter and remembered...
FRAN: When I leave, you can have this jar of peanut butter.
FRAN: Jean will only eat the reduced fat kind, so you can have this.
I quickly grabbed the jar and looked for crackers. There were none, so I settled for the next best thing: Plasticware. I then proceeded to eat my peanut butter legacy with a plastic knife all by myself, alone in the dry cleaners. It was possibly the lowest state my morale has assumed since Mr. Rogers died. And I took that hard.
Bishop Miege had our forensics tournament a couple months ago. It was exciting and hectic and a standing testament to my incompetance. In any case though, towards the end of the tournament something terribly weird happens. We're midway through the big dramatic march towards announcing awards and suddenly this kid I know from congress named Schwager runs up to me and says he needs to talk:
TOM: um... find me later, ok?
TOM: Sorry! I have to go. [walks away]
So after the awards thing, I'm walking back...
SCHWAGER: So Hogan, there's this girl on my squad...
SCHWAGER: She wants your phone number.
(off-key piano chord is struck)
SCHWAGER: Yeah, she really wants to talk to you.
And then suddenly it hit me. Like an ice cream truck coming at full speed towards a kid that short-changed him and didn't give him tip.
[ANOTHER FLASHBACK: BLUE VALLEY, THREE WEEKS PRIOR]
Ethan is driving me and Thomas Thorpe back home. We're at a stoplight and the Lawrence-Freestate van is in front of us. I'm just looking out like I always do, when I see people in the van looking at me. They give me weird looks. I give them weird looks. They give me weird looks. As they pull away, I JOKINGLY blow a kiss and give a REALLY weird look. Struby drives off. No big deal.
[FIVE MINUTES LATER]
Freestate van pulls up alongside us, and there's a piece of paper with a phone number written on it pressed to the window. Screaming girls are behind it. I fear for my life, and tell Ethan to go faster. He does, and we escape.
TOM: She wants... what?
SCHWAGER: Your phone number.
TOM: I'll... find you later [walks away]
Holy god. I really can not keep myself out of trouble. It's pathetic.
In other forensics news, I qualified to Nationals in Public Forum Debate. All the prestige and perks of nationals with about 25% of the work. We're going to Philidelphia this june, so that'll probably be a blog in and of itself.
The other day Lizz and I were hungry after the One-Acts [Which I was in, and was awesome. I was in Rachel Swetnam's and had a canker sore] and all we had was 7 dollars. We ended up going and buying a 5 dollar smoothie that we had to share, and eating a box of garlic-flavored triscuits. It was like one of those "Great Meals for less than 30 Dollars" shows my sister watches. Except we didn't make anything, and still ended up being pretty hungry. We bought bouncy balls on the way out of the grocery store though, which have proved to be quite entertaining.
On that food/Lizz note, we went to her damn Noddles and Company the other day. It was really good, actually. On top of that, because it was opening night, all food was free. Free meal. Free food tastes soooo much better than real food as dictated by the following equation:
So it was pretty good.
For my birthday, which was on the 10th, I got some pretty kick ass stuff. My parents got me a new CD case holder thing... 208 capacity should hold me over for a while. My sister got me a ninja-batman action figure, which is suprisingly sweet. Sean gave me this really cool footpedal for my guitar. Lizz was able to track down some more Gambit comicbooks, which I wanted, as well as candy from the Asian Strip Market. She also scrounged up some tickets to the Killers concert. We went that night and it was totally awesome. We spent outrageous amounts of money on T-Shirts, but they're awesome, so I can't really complain.
So this year's birthday is definately on par with last years.
Yesterday Sean and I played around on our guitars and made hit radio songs out of crappy poetry featured in Facets, the literary magazine from Miege. I'll work on putting together some MP3s.
Today Lizz and I took out the present I got from Lizz's mom to Loose Park. It's this wooden boat that you hook balloons up to and you put it in water and supposedly it goes. We put it in the pond with a string so we didn't lose it. It didn't go very far. We tried again, blowing the balloon up bigger. Little improvement. Frustrated, I threw the boat into the pond, and then pulled it back in with the string. Lizz did the same thing, except she let go of the string.
So there's our sad little boat, floating in the water. I ended up reeling it back in with a stick. We tried one final time, and the boat moved a little more! But only becuase the wind caught the balloon like a sail because it had so much surface area. The last time we tried, we blew up the balloon, and decided to throw the boat into the middle of the pond, sure to hold the string this time.
This idea went astray when the balloon became disengaged and flew around the pond... the little impotent boat just sitting there. Useless. Piece of crap.
We went back to my house and planted some flowers for a while, which was the most traumatic 40 minutes of this entire month, at least. Then we watched Star Wars: Episode I, and she went home. I'm working on finishing my lightsaber for thursday and typing this blog.
A final announcement:
Sean, Hank, Lizz, and myself made a new film recently as a project for history class. Be sure you check out [Dinner With Dick
], our most historically impossible movie to date.
Jedi :are to: Old Republic
Cowboys : are to: Old West
As was prophesized by Tom at 12:58 AM CST