Monday, February 28th

::The Brak Blog::

Don't Panic


You want me to what? Update! ha. What is that bullcrapery?

Today smelled like summer. Or rather yesterday. That's been happening more often that usual and it makes me really happy. I can't wait for summer and for junior year to be over and die.

I think on the whole that Junior year has been one big lesson on the fact that I have poor time management skills. Blogs haven't gotten done. Comics haven't been written. Movies haven't been filmed. Homework hasn't even been attempted. I feel overwhelmed so I half-ass everything and everyone and it makes me want to die. I guess I'll just use this space to appologize to anyone (and probably everyone) who's ever been screwed over by me being an idiot. All I can say is I'm sorry for my incompetance.

That being said, I hope to post more once school winds down. Then there'll be summer, and then senior year, which, judging by my schedule, shouldn't be that terrible, so I might get back to my "One post a week" ideal that I've since totally fallen away from.

Speaking of school, for history the other day I had to go to a library. Not just any library though. The central resource library for Missouri that is downtown. Getting there in one piece was an adventure in and of itself, but the actual library part gave me issues too. I love the new building, it's totally awesome and I wish my tax dollars had gone towards it because it's rockin'. Under normal conditions though, I bring Lizz to help me win at the Library. She wasn't with me that day though, so I had to win by myself.

"Myself" is an term inclusive to not only my bodily person, but the two clerks at the front desk, the woman in the resource department, the security cop in the restricted elevator, the help woman in the kids department, and the help guy on the 4th floor.

With the help of all these wonderful people, I got the FOUR books that I came looking for and made it out with 4 minutes left of curtosy parking in the underground lot. It was a good day. Getting out of downtown was equally as difficult, but after going down several dead ends, I found something resembling a major byway and hightailed it out of there.

On the topic of books, we're reading "Great Expectations" in english, and the main character attains the "Great Expectations" when he gets a large sum of money to become a "gentleman" (sounds like p0rn, doesn't it?). I thought how that would never happen ever today. I then tried to apply it to myself, and the following short story arose:

"Disappointing Expectations" by Tom 'the moTH' Hogan

Ok... I do not have the time, nor the will to write an ENTIRE parody of Great Expectations becuase that book is SO GOD DAMN LONG. So yeah. In my story I would get rich and then give all my money and invest in Enron and get screwed and end up being poor and riding the bus everywhere but totally not caring because all the rich people are annoying and suck anyway.

Stephanie Bell came into my work the other day. It was kinda weird because we talked for almost an hour about absolutely nothing. And by talking I mean Stephanie blabbed non stop and I chimed in with an occasional sentance fragment or prepositional phrase.

Then she came in again and we talked.

And then she came in AGAIN another time when I was not there.

It's getting like |---------this-----------| creepy.

I was out the other day renting a movie with Lizz at Hollywood Video. She'd earlier made the comment (and I had observed) that the employees subtly hit on her... perpetually. Today's episode went as such: Mark, or whoever the crap rang up the video asks Lizz for her name to check her account. She said "Lizz". Mark said "That's funny! Wouldn't you know, my fiancee's name is Lizz!" Then there's this horribly awkward scilence, and I look up from whatever I was playing with, and simply reply "Hey, mine too!"

*awkward silence gets awkwarder*

He silently hands us the video as we walk out.
I hate the people at Hollywood Video.
I'm beginning to suspect they hate me as well.

Just yesterday my parents made me get the car washed. I don't really give a crap what the car looks like, as long as it properly runs, but they were being pissy about it so whatever. I went to the gas station, got some gas, and bought the six-dollar middle-tier car wash. There's like 4 people in line, so I pop in my Duran Duran CD and hunker down for the wait.

Maybe 20 minutes later, it's almost my turn. I roll down my window and get ready to punch in my carwash code. On the screen there's this little animation that plays though. It's this little water drop... that talks to you. "Hey! Touch the screen!" (jumps around the poorly rendered backdrop) "Cooome ON! I won't bite!" (Faces away from you) "You wanna... scratch my back here?" (Points) "Awww...." (Walks off screen dejectedly) and so this goes on and on, with a crappy techo beat to boot.

Needless to say, waiting 5 minutes for the guy in front of me to finish his car wash was one of the most devastating metal feats I've ever endured. Towards the end I started to shout crude things at the WaterDrop. "Hey! Touch the screen!" (Shut up. I don't want to.) "Cooome ON! I won't bite!" (Leave me alone you stupid tool!) "You wanna... scratch my back here?" (I'll STAB YOU IN THE BACK) "Awww...." (And don't come back you little-) about this time, the guy in front of me was done. I punched the little WaterDrop as hard as I could.

An abrupt computer tone sounded, and he was replaced with a poorly rendered numeric keypad. "Thank God," I think. I punch in my code and press enter. There is a problem though. WaterDrop was secretly getting revenge on me. On the screen I'm returned there are two options. One is "Cancel" which means I've wasted half an hour with WaterDrop and my parents will yell at me. The other is "Works (+1.00$ USD)" which means I've got to give the machine another buck, upgrading me to the most expensive carwash available. I opt for the former, thinking one dollar a small price to escape from having to deal with WaterDrop again.

So I finally actually wash the car. The methodical water spray along with Duran Duran's "Reflex" was enough to soothe all my cares away. But then when I went through that high powered drying thing, it was so strong if pushed little sprays of water in through my sunroof, getting me a little wet. I hate the carwash. On my way home, I fanticized about locking the Hollywood Video people inside a carwash and letting them face the wrath of WaterDrop after I scratched his back with a harpoon.

On a much happier note, I've recently renewed my interest in transformers. I told Lizz late one night that had been lusting after one for quite some time. She got me one as a present, which was awesome. But having tasted the forbidden fruit of a single robot in disguise, I wanted more. So I went out and bought another. Twice and big, expensive, and excessive as the one Lizz got for me. Much to my pleasure, they could combine into two forms of super-robot in semi-disguise, giving me a total of 4 robots to play with at any given time.

The scary thing being, after spending 23 dollars on a plastic toy shaped like a space-ship, and comparing it to sex, I still want more. I need more. I went to target the other day to buy food, and found myself clawing at the shelves, searching for another robot that I might call my own. On the drive home later that day, I thought how awesome it would be if my car could transform into a talking, thinking, evil-fighting robot.

After deciding that this had gotten to weird, I became resolved to burry this desire. It posed a threat to my never-ending quest for music (monetarily anyway), which was a serious offense. I got home though, and Hot Shot and Jetfire were waiting for me. Playfully posed in their machine forms, disguising the robotic glory that lay benieth! Hark! I can not stand it any longer. So I played with my toys, made sound effects, gave them voices, and called it a day.

I have the maturity of an eight year old with the responsibilities of someone twice that age. How I get into these messes, I have no clue.

It's late now. I just finished reading the afforementioned "Great Expectations" and it was a good book. I then proceeded to make a feeble attempt at my math homework. I then wrote cleverly insulting things on a great many pages in my precalc textbook. And then, knowing that the coming week will be one of the busiest EVER, I decided to finish this entry.

Spring break will bring gaurenteed adventure, so I'll do my best to report on that, whatever it may be.

COMING FALL 2005
TOM HOGAN TRANSFOMRER.
TURNS FROM A NERD INTO A CAR.
WHEN COMBINED WITH OTHER NERDS,
(Ethan Struby® & Sean Svadlenak® Not Included)
THEY FORM COWBOY-TRON.

--NOTE--
Actually Coming Spring 2005
Sean got some DVD burning equipment and software, and put together a DVD with all of our movies available to the public at this time. We hope to distribute for a modest cost sometime soon. I'll keep you posted.

As was prophesized by Tom at 02:27 AM CST
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