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05/13/2004: "Playground Love"

So as of right now I'm printing off all 33 pages of [The Numbers]. To fill the time I decided I should probably get around to writing an entry.

So I know you're all hanging in suspense as to how last week's espisode was going to turn out with the play and all. Well, I'll tell you here and now it sucked. Cues were missed, lines were forgotten, and Daschel would not turn off THAT GOD DAMN SPOTLIGHT. Grrr. I was frustrated because I know that with an extra 2 days I could have done a better job by tenfold.

Whatever though. I got 23 service hours out of the deal, all just for me to play with some switches and buttons. Fwee.

Last weekend Lizz and I comandeered the tower in Shawnee Mission Park. That's right, they have a tower. Were a spontaneous war to suddenly break out, and I was forced to revert to gurilla tactics, I'd hole up inside of this thing with explosives and sharp objects. It's all fortressy and 3 stories high and it sways when other people are walking up the stairs. It's also very, very windy, and home to lots of graffitti. My favorite is the *Ronaldo y Rosa 4ever* inside of a heart. Not only does it use the spanish article for and, but it then spontaneously shifts not just to english, but to internet-lingo/slang-english.

And that's not something you see every day. From up there we saw this one biker chick who pulled up to the base of the tower, and just hung out. A biker guy showed up later, and after what we assumed to be a transaction of money in exchange for drugs/sex, they both took off.

Minutes later another biker guy showed up, we suspected, for a similar deal. Except nobody else came for Biker #2. He was getting ready to leave, and we waved jokingly. He saw us and waved back. It was a moment. Oh-!

Just seconds ago the full copy of The Numbers finished printing. All 33 pages of it. It's coming with me to school tomorrow, for the sole purpose and bemusement of myself. I'll spend all period just pouring over them, and when asked what I'm looking at, I'll snap


The looks I'm going to get will be Polaroid-Deserving [and not many things are worth a Polaroid, being that Polaroid is run by Nazis and charges fucking millions for a pack of film]. Some other fun options are just leaving it in random places, letting people think what they may.

It'd be worth printing off and binding a whole 'nother set just to leave it on the shelves of the media center with the following message:

"To the Finder:

I finall cracked the secret Soviet code. For years and years I've studied their signals, and I finally decrypted the transmissions. I've enclosed all the necssicary materials to decode any more intercepted messages in the form of this chart.

These 33 pages hold the key to unlocking the mystery of the SSMDS, or the Secret Soviet Missile Defense System. My life has run too short, but please get this to the nearest branch of a Federal Information Agency, lest time run out and all my efforts be in vain.

-Randolf Sivotral
Stalingrad, 1982"

How kickass would that be? Very, I think. Perhaps I'm having to much fun with the numbers... but perhaps not. Besides, how many people do you know who can continue to find interesting uses for a 33 page encoded RNA Polymereas?

Back to my earlier story though, after our moment with the biker, some random family decided to have a fscking party on top of my Gurilla Tower of Doom [it's emergency code name]. Lizz and I left after this, but on our way out of the park, we ran into our old friend Biker #2! He pulled in front of us and went really slow all the way out of the park... and Shawnee Mission Park is pretty big. This would even be one thing, because Lizz and I started with our usual shouting of profanity and insults for the slow-goer, but it was made especially bad by his turn signal.

Normally turn signals are a good thing, they let other people know what's going on, and they protect you on the road legally and stuff, so good vibes all around. Unless you're the stupid biker man and you leave the god damn turn signal on for 5 miles! He had his right signals on for 3 miles, then we got to an intersection, and it changed to the left. Then he went straight! So after another 2 miles of blinking agravation, he finally turns for real. We finished off whatever string of curses we were on, and both get kinda quiet and look at eachother.

"That guy was a major dick... with the turn signal and all."
"No kidding."
"But you know... I still-"
"Kinda liked him?"

So we came to the conclusion that though Biker #2 was slow and stupid with the turn signal, we still really liked him and he's mondo cool.

A few months ago my sister decided that my section of the bathroom wasn't organized enough for her liking. To solve this problem she found a little tiny cardboard cup thing... I don't know what else to call it: [Think a cup, make from really thin particle board]. In any case, to encourage me to use this think to keep all my stuff in [meds, hair brush, whatever], she glued picture of all of my favorite stuff on there so I'd deem it cool or whatever.

Case in point: The Cup is Awesome. It features: "Cowboy Bebop, Cake's Fashion Nugget, A Cup of Ramen Noodles, Brak, White Cheddar Cheese Cheeze-Its, and OddTodd." These are a few of my favorite things. It got me to thinkin' though, about how that totally does nail exactly who I am. Food, Music, and Cartoons. That's me in a nutshell.

Except it's not a nutshell, that's who I am. Anything else is merely an extrapolation of one of those key features. It kinda bummed me out then though, that all my modivations and hopes and dreams [what's left of them anyway] are based on Cartoons, Music, or to a lesser extent, Food. But then I realized it could be a lot worse; look at the other combinations

Sex, Drugs, Shitty Music
School, Homework, Masturbation
Republicanism, Religions Extremeism, [Pick the other most shit-riffic ISM]
Being Popular [No room for anything else]
Drinking, Porn, Smoking

I mean come on, of all the thousands of elements I could be based off of, I think I came out releatively well off, compared to some of the other options. If you have a particularly good or especially bad combination yourself, drop it by in comment form. [Which nobody will, because those of you who do read this don't care enough to play along, which is cool.]

My birthday was 3 days ago, and it was perhaps one of the coolest birthdays I've ever had. First things first, let's cronicle the shit people gave me.

Rough Night in Jericho- Ethan claims to have boughten this movie purely on account of the name, but after carefull viewage by me and Lizz, we've decided he's a closet Western fan. And this movie also sucked major, no thanks to Ex-Deputy U.S. Marshal Dolan AKA I HAVE THE LONGEST FUCKING TITLE IN THE WORLD...

I'm Giving You a No-Honk Gaurentee- A most excellent mix, props for this one going to Matt Jenkins.

Ride 'em Cowboy Pinball- Why Lizz's mom felt obligated to get me something is beyond me, but it is in fact a pinball game with a cowboy theme. It currently beats out 3-D Pong for "Worlds Most Able Game at Pissing Tom Off", so subsequently I play it all the time.

Ben Folds CD- Laura Thomas supplied some Ben Folds goodness. I could rock suburbs if I tried.

Breakfast Club Theatrical Poster- Ethan redeems himself after the Rough Night He Had in Jericho with this totally awesome poster. Mom said she'd take it to be framed and all that jazz, and it's going to hang with all its majesty right next to my bed. "Here's my impression of life at Big Bri's house..."

Sex, Brains, & Star Wars- Yet another totally awesome mix, featuring 'Stairway To Heaven', which I'm finally not denied, thanks to Rachel Klem.

The title of her mix reminded me of when Tim and I were doing tech for the Vis play, and this asshold Kieth Gard comes up and starts talking to us. We talk about how the school spent so much money on buying the Hollywood rights to such a shitty play. I suggest that if they're going to spring for something big and expensive, they should at least get their money's worth, and get something bitchin', like 'Star Wars'. I mean come on, who wouldn't go see the stage production of the greatest movie of all time?

Anyway, Tim agrees, and ol' Keith says to us "You know... that's why you guys are here doing tech stuff, and not out on dates tonight. That Star Wars thing... it'll always get you..." KEITH GARD CAN GO SUCK A FUCK, AND I MEAN IT. You do not insult the Star Wars ever. Besides, I could never love a woman who doesn't recognize AWESOME when she sees it. Or even if she didn't like it, you don't insult it for god's sake, it's like the Holy Grail of EXCELLENT.

Skinny Black Tie- In some sudden freak accident of good will, Lizz decided to get me a thin black tie since I've wanted for like the fuck of ever. She found, like I did, that procuring one of these is impossible. For some reason no one makes them. So she made one, out of like tie-material or whatever an all that. It's totally rockin' and I'm just pissed forensics/debate is over so I no longer have an excuse to wear it.

I suddenly remember that my sister's 8th grade graduation is coming up, something I should get dressed up for. A very opportune point to test out the grade of awesome of the skinny black tie, which I've already ascertained to be a perfect 15 on the Awesome Scale.

Bowie Tickets- My parents bought me tickets to go see David Bowie in concert. Bowie. Live. *Joygasm* It was un-fucking-real. Noteable songs played were: "Rebel Rebel, Fashion, Little China Girl, The Man Who Sold The World, Heroes, Ashes to Ashes, and of course... Ziggy Stardust." I got a T-Shirt and a button and it was possibly the best day of my entire life. For Serious Dudes. [Note: The coolness was upped times 80 because the 'rents stayed home and I took friends. Sometimes they can be cool, those parentals...]

The other night I was really, really bored, and I made the mistake of clicking onto the "One Tree Hill Season Finale" ad on AIM... Why I don't recall. The site itself uninterested me, but my eye caught a link to the 7th Heaven page. 7th Heaven [also known as the show that presents unsurpassable drama in the first 23 seconds and magically solves it with the remainder of the hour] sucks totally and completely. I noticed there was a comment forum, so I felt inclined [to do my worst]. Look for the May 11th Entry.

Porn, Drugs, Homework...
A Cowboy craves not these things;
Only with Food, Music, and Cartoons,
A Cowboy will you be...

Replies: 6 Buddies Neglected Their Oral Hygine

I think they deleted your comment.

here's a st. louis threesome

marajuana, ricing, texas hold'em

Said [josh] on Friday, May 14th


Said [r unit] on Saturday, May 15th

Another fabulous post! Congrats on your survival through infancy. The Numbers thing = hilarious. Give me a copy with the note attached and I'll leave it in my school library.

Said [Alison] on Tuesday, May 18th

sweet. your birthday sounds like fun. i'm happy for you.

driving yet? :-P

Said [meow mix] on Wednesday, May 19th

Major Tom -
Yeah, Bowie = great no matter what. Double cool with knobs. The pretentious vocab whore in me feels the need to point out the fact that you spelled guerrilla. Dumbass. The Shawnee Mission Park story was a very good one, though. Almost to good. I think I might have to kill you and feed you to Brucey P.

I need a Bowie nickname. If I were Chinese I would be China Girl... If my name were er... Jean I would call my self Blue Jean... you get the idea. You got freaking lucky...

Yeah, you got a long comment because of your long ass entries.

Said [Lydia] on Wednesday, May 19th

my totally rad parents went to see david bowie for my dads b-day which is your b-day woah crazy.... but didn't feel the need to take me :( side note: labyrinth = god see it if you havn't

Said [cousin jessica the great] on Thursday, May 20th