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04/15/2004: "Red Oyster Cult"


Wow. We have some 40-odd days left in the school year and I am officially burned out.

I've lost all willpower to do the constant onslaught of equasions in chemistry.
Religion class has boiled down to one giant argument.
German just bores me to tears.
Edmonds is starting to grow on me... Something is wrong.
Wars. People dying. History. DON'T CARE!
Comprehension of Algebra. HA! That's a joke...
No more Forensics Touraments. What's the point?

Fucking hell.
I curse to much.
Fucking hell anyway.

I'm screwed if I can't pull through this last month of school.
Case in point: I'm screwed.

On a lighter note... random shit has happened to me as always, and I'll recount these events for you now. To kick things off, .brak//SIGN has been moved to the local directory here on the domain. I got rid of the crap I thought was stupid and added an FAQ section, among other things. If you've never browsed the stuff in there, I recomend you take a look. Even if you have, there are still a few new things. [Promise]

This past weekend at both forensics touraments I attended [2 separate ones!] I drew the most fucked up question ever. On friday it read: "Will the Earth miss a narrow collision with an undetected asteroid?" I was tempted to use it, but alas, I did not. Besides... how much do you think we have in the crates about asteroid-collisions?

Saturday... for some absurd reason I break to finals. I draw 3 questions. One about the Maritime Protection Act... which I know nothing about. One about Arnold and his plan for economic recovery in California, which I also knew nothing about, so I was really counting on this last question. The last question asked:

"How did the Earth miss a narrow collision with an asteroid?"

So it was Asteroid or Arnold. I had to pick Arnold. And go and get 3rd in DX. Fscking DX!! Whatever. All this talk of asteroids made me wonder though... perhaps there really is a threat.

Bullshit. Doesn't anyone remember Deep Impact or Armageddon?! They made those movies to freak people out when we thought we were going to get smashed into a million little tiny pieces and nothing ever happened. NOTHING. I was pumped for the Apocolypse, and I got jack. If my opinion isn't enough for you, which it should be, I found an [Article About Asteroids Hitting Earth].

In english last week we were over-analyzing poetry as usual, and the victum of the day was Emily Dickinson. Initially one would be inclined to sympathize with Emily, having her work figuratively torn apart by angsty teens that know vitrutally nothing, but then we must also recall that she's a gimp, so I think it all evens out in the end.

Anyways, Edmonds is telling us what's what, and she describes Emily Dickinson as someone who "Was very seculded from the world. She sat in her room, because being a rich snob she didn't have to work, and observed the people, because she's a weirdo-creepy, and how they acted, and wrote sappy, bitchy, whiney poetry about it."

Sound familiar? One word kids. Two actually.
Fucking EMO!
Emily Dickinson was totally the first [Emo Kid] ever.

So, hanging out in german class at the start of this week, and we notice that our Claudia Shiffer [schwing! She's a babe!] picture that we gave to Mr. Provencher had somehow lost its stand. The previous week we'd attempted to hold her up by supporting the frame on a coffee mug. Wade bumped the table and knocked it over, so we thought Claudia had better just lay flat, as opposed to facing a rather unpleasant fall down towards, and the abrupt meeting with, the floor.

Lizz though, thought otherwise. She stood Claudia back up, even though I told her that we tried that and it didn't work. SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN TO MY CONSERVATIVE VOICE OF REASON!

30 seconds into class, we here this sickening scrape noice... followed by a slam. We all slowly crane our knecks towards the front of the classroom, and there is poor Claudia. Her babe-dom all but shattered, quite literally. In such a precarious position, she had slipped and fallen, and broken her frame. Thanks for NOTHING Lizz. Right now Claudia is just sitting on the table, with a pile of broken glass on top of her. We're narrowed down the options now to re-framing her, or giving her a viking funneral...

On a german-side-note, someone wrote a poem about Mr. Provencher that I found particularly comical:


Mr. P is very weird
He likes to cut off his 'ihr'
He has no girlfriend.


That afternoon I decided I needed some new music, and being that SamGoody was put out of business by the cheap, under-cutting, quality-lacking music section at Target, I had to trek to the price-gouging Barnes&Noble. I got my Guster CD and was satisfied. On the way out there was this lady on the street playing the sax. She wasn't particularly excellent or totally awesome, but I gave her points for trying.

I saw her little box, opened up with pamphlets and stuff, and I can never tell if they want money or not. Like maybe some of them are all touchy and artsy and are just there to play and would get offended if you threw some money in their box. I checked and the lady had money in her box, so I gave her a dollar.

Then I remembered how I didn't give any money to the homeless dudes in front of the store a few blocks back. Why... do you ask? First off the homeless dudes are scary. They just freak me out and I dunno why. But then I also realized that sax lady fucking deserved it. She wasn't awesome, but she was trying her best. What were the homeless guys doing? Shaking styrafoam cups at me, and yelling words I couldn't understand.

Homeless dudes, if you want your dollar, you'd better fucking earn it. I don't care what you do, sing, dance, read from the bible, I don't care, but there's no such thing as a free lunch, and while you may or may not be down on your luck, that doesn't concern me. You earn your keep like the sax lady.

Yesterday was an especially good day. For some odd reason, Sean's mom forgot to come get me and Sean, so we had to bum a ride off of Lizz [...it's like the start to some weird horror movie]. On the way back, I felt like ice cream, so I demanded we go and retrieve the magic substance of deliciousness. Sean didn't want any, so me and Lizz sat on a bench and ate ours while Sean went to look at rockets or something in Toy & Science.

While we were sitting there, Ben Reddler comes by and after a friendly greeting, makes a grab for my ice cream! I kinda freak out and pull it back, but he gets a hold of it and starts to pull it away from me. I, being extremely protective of my sugary treat, pull back to keep him from getting it. The result is a shattered ice cream cone in my hand, and a sadistic smile on Ben's face.

I had to practically eat the thing whole to keep it from soaking through the little paper cone-cover that was all that was standing between me and a hand full of half-melted ice cream. After that we dropped Sean off, and then it was onward to the park. The park today was full of not Narcs, but regular people. Outside, playing, enjoying the nice weather. Needless to say, Lizz and I were pissed.

Where were these people at 10:40 at night, when it was 45 degrees out, and the Narcs were having Narc Fest '04? They were at home, inside, while we were out enjoying the park. We are hardcore fans of Loose Park. Rain or shine, hot or cold, school or NO school, NARCS OR NO FUCKING NARCS, we are there. And on the one day when our patience has been rewarded, and there is nice weather, enter the Stupid park-posers... they've got no right to be there.

Which leads us to today. Movie, or Porn?
At lunch today, we were talking about 'Deep Throat', which was both a feature film, and an adult film. So someone would shift gears to talking about one or the other, and we'd have to repeat the question: "The Moive or the Porn?" Upon doing this for quite a few times, we realized that this can be applied to so many other things.

Examples have, at present, left me, but try asking it randomly at the end of conversations. It's bound to be interesting.

For some ungodly strange reason, Cameron decides today is the day he wants to make friends. After being repeatedly annoying, rude, vulgar, and disgusting, he "Wants to join our clique." Shyeah! Right! And maybe monkeys will fly out of my butt! I don't mean to be all self-righteous and judgemental, but after him being the worlds biggest Sphincter-Boy for the past year and 7 months, I don't think we should be obligated to be the worlds most inviting crowd of people.

He asks me to check out a book for him. I ask why he can't check them our himself. Mumbling. Why can't you check them our yourself? "They won't let me... *mumble*" Well lets stop and think for one fucking minute.





.....









Thought about it? Good job! I came to the same conclusion. Maybe there's a reason why you're no longer allowed to check out pointless and absurdly lame WWII books. I mean, I could be wrong on this one, but there might just be logical explination for that: Perhpas its because you never return them, or never pay your fees, resulting in your ban from your use of the service; This is actually quite a common practice, even in real libraries, which you've also apparently not heard of.

When he asked the question why people are so put off by him, I told him I didn't know, but that there was probably a reason for that too. I also like how myself and all of my friends were sterotyped by him to be "The edgy teenager crowd with our leftist views and punk music." He offered to be our 'Conservative Voice of Reason'. Like hell. *Takes Conservative Voice of Reason's NRA-issued firearm and KILLS the Conservative Voice of Bullshit*

Honestly, I don't mean for this to be a Cameron bash-fest [which it's manifested into regardless, but whatever], because picking on people just for the sake of being a dick is mondo-lame, but he brought this upon himself...

Today in history Sean asked Mrs. Sullivan if Joe McCarthy was a republican. She answered yes, followed by Cameons mumbling voice from the background: "Don't even start..." Which then inspired me to make a list of all the things that probably annoy Cameron:

1. The fact that Joe McCarthy was a republican.
2. The fact that conservativism in general sucks donkey.
3. The fact that he has to explain his own jokes... that aren't funny
4. The fact that he is shunned because of...
5. The fact that BEING AN ASSHOLE DOES NOT ENTITLE YOU TO FRIENDS

If you are Cameron and were offened by this, go blow yourself, I don't care. If you are a conservative [of the non-asshole variety] and were offended, I'm sorry, but what can I say... I'm a Pinko.

You know what rocks hard?
     What?
Cowboys.
     ...wait, the Movie or the Porn?

Replies: 4 Buddies Neglected Their Oral Hygine

yeah, that was entertaining. i liked the schwing. it made me laugh. and as for the ice cream/rocket thing? that was priceless.

word

Said [one who is not wanted around here...or something. i dunno, i'm running out of creative names.] on Thursday, April 15th

I find it so baffling that you and Cameron are mortal foes in your book, buddies in his.

I always liked Cameron, but it was more in a "he's a funny character" sort of way. And I did have minimal contact with him. Still, he makes me laugh.

Said [Hesch] on Friday, April 16th

She's a babe. She's magically babalicious. She tested very high on the strokability scale... SCHWING!! :-)

As for the German class, well... at least you get to understand what Charlie Chaplin said- or didn't say- in all those trippy 1940's comedies that he did. Spanish is little better, comrade. But that's Russian, now isn't it, Stalin?

Yo tengo 28 dias de escuela despues de hoy... OR... Ich lasse achtundzwanzig Tage der Schule verlassen... OR... I have 28 days of school left. (Bloody hell... there really IS no way to say that that's positive! Unless...) I have ONLY 28 days of school left. SCHWING! (OK that kinda worked...)

Excellent! (To the blog and our mutual randomness, which my blog fails to show if u bother even reading it... Though it can be good... at times...)

Said [Garth Algar] on Saturday, April 17th

Claudia is totally magically and undoubtedly babalicious! Of course, i would be too if I was 6'5" and weighed 25lbs.

I have so seen the sax lady outside Barnes&Noble, she's not very good but I tossed money in there anyway because I respect starving artists (it wasn't very much money because in order to be a real starving artist you must, of course, starve.) I love this blog, it makes me smile.

Said [The Viola Goddess] on Saturday, April 17th